Only as old as you feel

I am sure that everyone has heard of the saying, "You're only as old as you feel." Well today I felt like I was close to 100 on my run. As most of you know, I am doing the 1,000 mile challenge in 2016 and training for several upcoming races. So for today, I had an 8 mile long run planned. On the treadmill of all places. Normally this is ok but I will be honest. It was nothing short of a miracle that I was able to finish running the miles I had planned to run.

I stopped every few minutes after the first mile and half because everything that could have gone wrong did. My sock was sliding in my shoe, my sock was starting to curl under my toes, I didn't like the song I was listening to, I needed a drink, etc. The list could go on and on. It was horrible but I got it finished. 

The picture above pretty much describes how I felt once I finished.  I dug down deep and fought hard to finish those miles. I also run for a little boy that has Down Syndrome that I met through a group on Facebook. He really pushes me to do better with my workouts and he definitely had a part in me finishing those 8 miles. If you are interested in having your own running buddy, visit www.whoirun4.com and register to get matched with buddy. Also dont forget to request to join the I Run 4 Michael Facebook group. Your life will be forever changed. I know mine has.

I was also reminded that a lot of working out is getting your body in shape but more getting your mind in shape. Even though I have been working out for almost 5 years, I still struggle with having my mind in shape. Every day that you work out the struggle may not exist or it takes everything that you have to dig deep and finish what you started. The important thing to remember is that everyone has those days and don't give up. 

Do exactly as this quote above says. Just keep moving. You got this. Remember everyone has to start somewhere and everyone struggles.

Upcoming Races

At the end of last year, I decided to do a 1,000 mile challenge for the year 2016.  I figured up that if I ran everyday and only ran the minimum amount that I needed to for the day, I would only need to run 2.7 miles every day. This isn't including my training runs for any upcoming races.  I have a 15K coming up next month.  This one is the Hot Chocolate one that I have been wanting to do. The next race is the Special Kids 15K in March and then the Oak Barrel Half Marathon.

So I will be getting in several runs in the next few months that will be a majority of the miles for this challenge.  I am planning on registering for the Middle Half when it opens up in June.  If I am able to run this race it will be 3 years since the last time that I ran this race.  I am almost wanting a redemption at this race.  I didn't have a good experience the first and only time that I ran this race. Around mile 7 or 8, my ankle needed to pop and I couldn't get it to pop for the life of me.  I was doing great and then this happened.  I was so disappointed. So I want to redeem myself and proof that I can do it.  Anyone else feel that way about certain races?

I have never did the Hot Chocolate 15K before so I am hoping that it is a good race.  The race medal is awesome looking and you also receive a pull over. One of the reasons that I am wanting to do this race.  It is all about the goodies that you can get. :) The Special Kids 15K race I did a few years ago and it was a really good race. This is a flat a course and at each mile marker they have a picture of a child that has a special need.  It hits home for me because I run for a little boy that has Down Syndrome and I want to run this race for him. I dedicate all my runs or workouts to him but to me this one will be extra special.

Oak Barrel Half has been one of the best half marathons that I have done.  Minus Whiskey Hill that is.  It is put on by the local running club that I do a weekly run with. They have Gatorade at each water stop. It is extremely well put together and I would recommend anyone that is looking for a good half marathon to consider doing this one.  Up until the Zooma Half Marathon that I did in November, this was my best half marathon.  We will see what this one will hold.  Hoping for good results at this one.

Is there any races that you are looking forward to doing? What was your experience at these?  Please share your experiences.  I would love to hear them.

5 Years in the Making

February 28 of this year will be five years that I decided it was time to change my life. I wasn't being the best mom or wife that I could be. My kids would ask me to go play and I could barely play ten minutes. And that was if I was lucky.

I remember that I didn't realize how bad I let myself get until I was getting fitted to be in a wedding. I remember getting measured for my hips and butt which was 48 inches! But this is where I wanted to go in my room and just cry. I was measured around my waist and I was 47 1/2 inches!! That is only 1/2 inch from my butt. To be honest, I was devastated. I didn't know where to begin.

A friend of mine posted her before and after pictures. She looked amazing so I asked her what she did to lose the weight. She told me it was Zumba so I looked into our local rec to see if they offered and sure enough they did. I watched a little bit of  a class and I already convinced myself I couldn't do it.

I have done workout videos at home but in a class with a group of people. I just wasn't sure. I wasn't able to finally attend a class for a couple weeks after watching that first class. Before starting exercising, I had been to the doctor for having a headache continuously for a month. Naturally I am thinking worse case scenario but everything turned out good.

It was hard that first night and when I finished my face looked like one of those red delicious apples because it was so red. I woke up that next morning and could barely move. But I didn't give up. I still went back. Every time they offered it, I was there. My kids spent most of their childhood there. Especially my daughter.

When I started, I weighed 194.1 pounds. Today I weigh 146.2. That is a total loss of 47.9 pounds in five years! I have gone up and down during those five years. After all this time though, I have found something that works for me. I have been able to keep the weight off and I am happier than ever.

I tell you this because at first I started exercising for the wrong reasons. In the end, I realized that I needed to do it for me. Now not only do I do Zumba but I also run as well.  I may have started for the wrong reasons but I am continuing for the right reasons. You need to find your reason, your motivation to get you to workout. Whether that is health reasons or whatever the case may be. Find it and use to fuel your workout.

Earlier I mentioned what my measurements were before I started working out. I was measure this morning and I am beyond tickled. I worked my butt off to be where I am at today. My hips were 39 inches and my waist 29! That is a big difference. A 9 inch difference in the hips and a 18 1/2 inch difference in the waist. Even though the progress may be slow, it is still progress. I waited 5 years for those numbers. Keep up the good work and don't give up.

Below is one of my favorite quotes and rings so true for me.

Stick and Stones

I am going to be honest for a moment. This post is going to be hard for me to write considering how the last few years have been and especially the last couple of months. I am going to have to be a little vague on some things and I hope that you will understand my need for privacy at this time.

You have the saying that sticks and stones may broke my bones but words will never hurt me. I believe this is a lie.

I have made some wrong decisions in my life and there is nothing that I can do to change  them. I have learned to be at peace with those decisions. I have also asked for forgiveness from those that I have hurt. I have lost many friends. People that I once was extremely close to have become like strangers to me.

I find myself struggling to carrying on a conversation. Worried that something I may say will be repeated or that it will get misconstrued into something that I never said. How do you ask someone for forgiveness when you aren't sure what you did in the first place? That is where I find myself at tonight.

Apparently I have deeply hurt someone that I couldn't begin to tell you what I have done. In turn, this person has hurt me deeply as well. They have talked about me behind me back and basically feel as though I owe them something. Only wanting to speak to me when it will benefit them.

I have struggled with the fact of whether or not I am a good person. Am I that bad of a person that someone would want say these hurtful things and then just use me? Then I remember that I have a God that loves me. That says that I am worthy. Regardless of my past because He forgives my past. He holds my future.

Does it make easy? Of course not. I am still hurting right now. It will take some time to heal but I also believe that if you have been hurt over and over again, you can only handle so much. It is time to say that my heart has had enough. I can still care about you but we don't have to be friends. I am sorry that I hurt you. Even though you won't give me the opportunity to apologize for something I am not even sure that I did. I truly wish you the best and maybe one day you will realize the hurt that you have caused and the apologies that I tried to give. Despite not fully understanding what I was apologizing for.

I am also faced with another predicament. I have always said that I would rather someone be up front and honest with me than lie to me. I have been faced here recently with two people in particular that have been fake to me. They have talked about me behind my back and when I was struggling at the lowest point in my life, they rallied several people to turn their backs on me as well. It wasn't good enough that they were turning their backs on me but that others did as well.

It is hard to see these people now and know that they have done these things. The fact that they can look me in the face and know deep down that all they have is an image to uphold. I am not the judge of this Earth and it isn't my place to do just that. I have been hurt but my heart has had enough.

The reason that I have opened up to y'all is because I want y'all to know that I am not perfect. No one is. I don't want to turn into these people that have been hurtful to me. I want to be the bigger person so I am asking you to hold me accountable. Below is a pic that describe the way my heart is feeling right now. Until next time. :)

Resolutions and Goals

Happy New Year everyone!  I hope that y'all had a great Christmas and New Year celebration with your friends and families. As most people do, I have sat back some today when I haven't been busy to think about 2015.

A lot has changed but for the better. My relationship with my husband which was pretty rocky last year for various reasons is doing 1,000 times better now. I had a pretty big scare in March with my kids but so very thankful that God spared them the heartache they could have experienced. I was going up and down in my weight and finally put my foot down and said enough is enough. Brad and I have found a lifestyle change that works for both of us. Ending the year, I lost 22 pounds from April when I got to be my heaviest since starting to workout and Brad lost 20 pounds.

Now with the new year upon us we have made a few New Year's resolutions or goals. I personally would rather say goals than resolutions but it is personal preference. Brad would like to continue losing weight and get closer to his goal weight. I have a few that are fitness related and several that are not. They are as follows:

1. I would like to get closer to God. I have lost my way in the last couple of years and I want to find my way back. We are going to start going to a young adult ministry at church.

2. I would like to be at my goal weight.  I only have 13 more pounds to go but those last few pounds are always the hardest to get off.

3. I would like to achieve a 2:15 or better half marathon. Right now I only have 1 half marathon on the books but a couple of 15k's and a 5k.

4. I want to be a better mother to my children. Something I know that I won't achieve in just one year and this will be a continuous goal for me.

5. I want to better wife to my husband. I have definitely slacked and Brad deserves so much better.  I know that with God's help I can accomplish this.

6. Last but not least, I would like to run 1,000 miles in 2016. I have figured this up and it will 2.7 miles if I run every day. Something I can't do because of my knees but I will complete this for my running buddy Henry.

I am sure as the year goes on that I will be adding more to these. It helps to keep me focused. This morning I started on one of my goals. I knocked off 5 miles with a group of people for a New Year's morning fun run. There was a 3 & 5 mile option. I will be beginning training for my 7th half marathon in April so I chose to do the 5 mile route. I ran with friends I haven't ran with in a while and friends that I run with at least once a month. It was nice to get together.

The picture below is a picture of the whole group. The picture is courtesy of my friend Joyce, her husband took this picture. We had about 40 people run and it was an awesome way to start off the New Year. What are your resolutions and/or goals for this year?