I just completed my 2nd half marathon this morning and I will be honest. I was not happy with how the second half of the race went. I started having really bad cramps in my left calf. I tried everything that I could to help get it to where I didn't have to stop. I had no such luck. I wound up stopping and walking and then running a little bit. After that initial stopping point, that was it. I felt like I was needing to stop every so often and I did. My leg was hurting even when I was walking but I pushed through it. I finished and that is all that counts. Although my finish time was not bad and I still had a personal best, I feel like the goal that I had for myself was too lofty and that I just set myself up for failure.
When I got back to my hotel room and had a chance to sit down, I decided to let my body cool off before getting ready. When I was able to get on Facebook, I saw a comment that my mother in law put up on a photo that I uploaded last night. After reading that, I must admit, I cried a little bit. It made me realize that I was going to have bad runs, today was one of them, but I have to two beautiful kids and a husband that are proud of me no matter what my time is or how many times I might have had to walk because of cramping. It was then that I realized that I put too much focus on the time that I am going to have and not on having fun or just happy that I was given the opportunity to run.
There are numerous things that I could tell you about the race but I think that the most important thing that I can tell you is what I learned. I learned today that no matter the reason that you run, whether it is for competition to win, health reasons or to just finish, that you do it with everything that you have. That whatever you do, you do it with your heart.
I will be honest with you, I spent time in a pity party for myself because I didn't reach my goal. Once I read that comment from my mother in law, everything changed. My family is proud of me for just completely 13.1 miles and they don't care how I finished. Whether I ran the whole time, run/walked or walked the entire thing. I am relieved that is the case because I may just be a middle of the pack runner for as long as I choose to run. You know what? That is ok and I am happy with that. You want to know why? Because God gave me the ability to run and I am thankful for that.
I have another race coming up in a couple of weeks and I am going to try something. I am going to try running with my heart and not worry about anything else. I love to run and that is all that it comes down to for me. I want my kids to see me do something that I love and pushing through even though I am not the best. So until next time.
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